Are you a MOSC?

I’m a MOSC. I’m a mother of small children. I SWS. I scream when stressed. But I CDQ. I cool down quickly. And my children are SDB. No, not silent but deadly. The other way around; super duper blessed.

If you’re ready to be a parent then know that after being human, being a parent makes you the most vulnerable creation on Earth. Parents are all tripolar agents in disguise who are also composters, butchers, and game night players all at the same time. If you’re ready to be a parent, place a half eaten apple, a chicken drumstick, yogurt cup, and a popsicle in random areas of your home and forget about them until you smell or step on something right before you go to bed, preferably 2 weeks later. Don’t leave a cup next to the toilet because everyone knows an open toilet is an oasis for 1 yr olds…to drink from.  And if they poop during bath time, it’s best to scoop the poop out of the bath tub with a disposable cup and pour it straight into the toilet for flushing, then proceed to give your child another bath.

I’m a MOSC. I also SWS, but I CDQ, and I’m SDB to be part of the whole journey of these little servants of God. iA.

Ramadan is coming. I haven’t fasted straight for 3 years now due to pregnancy and nursing. I have made intentions to fast this Ramadan. I’m excited. I’m stoked. I’m scared. What about you? Are you a MOSC or have experience?  Have you got any tips I could use when I fall into weakness? Some dhikr? Please share. Allah is great. Billions of people around the globe are filling the air with excitement, joy, and happiness for a month in which we will obstain from eating, drinking, and for some, sleeping. Only the creator could constitute such irony.

ps. If you know any SMOSC, then know that you have encountered some super amazing people. Single Mothers of Small Children.

Now I must go and end this AOOA. Annoying Overuse Of Abbreviations. SALAM!

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Balled up in a Quilt

It’s that time. She conveniently forgets there’s still laundry that needs to be put in the dryer. In her head she knows laundry can always wait patiently with little consequences. Kids are sunk in sleep like almonds embedded in a Godiva chocolate bar. Couch is seven star hotel comfy. Temperature is perfect for a night balled up in a cotton quilt knitted with adorable pastel girly flowers. What does a professional mother do? There are no marriage tips in this post. No. No recipes for success in the office or the kitchen. No. No super hijabi fashion tips. She is seeking universal help. How does she resist this perfect moment to relax with tea and a good chic flick all wrapped up in girly flowers?! HOW!? Sleep is better. Sleep is more honorable. Sleep will help her to get up for Fajr, but the dark chocolate moment of perfection is so hard to resist. Sleep will help her to better mother her kids in the morning.  She keeps repeating this to herself.  She needs a lecture. She needs a scholar to tell me to go to sleep! When was the last time you decided not eat that brownie and was successful?

Spiritual Ache in Ramadan

Let’s face it – Ramadan with small children isn’t exactly our cup of spiritual tea. Having little ones spit, spill, and slather all over your prayer rug isn’t soothing at all.  The worst feeling happens at the end of the day when everyone else is praying taraweeh and I’m just now praying ‘Isha. I find myself making bargains with my daughter and they go something like this:

Me: Hani, if you play with Kaya so I can read 2 pages, then I’ll give you ice cream.

Hani: ok ok ok ! deal.

I know all that isn’t neccessary but I’m new to all this (motherhood in Ramadan). At the same time I’m blessed to know that skipping taraweeh to stand in front of the kitchen sink will also help me get to where I want to be. Some take first class, I take coach, but alhumdulilah we end up at the same destination. As mothers we must transition our minds to accept and remember that our duty as mothers is one of the best kinds of worship. We are mothers alone. We often stand in prayer alone and work alone. We don’t have that zesty awesome high that we all use to get when we participated in group worship. Don’t get me wrong, I’m STILL learning and transitioning and often yearn to stand in prayer at the masjid without worrying that baby will let out a loud cry or even a fart that makes me laugh and then I have to start all over again and regret that I messed up someone’s kushoo’.

I have a few methods I started praticing to make me feel like I’m seizing Ramadan with small children. They aren’t glamorous like sitting in the masjid memorizing Qur’an or making dhikr at the beach (summer vacation time), or volunteering at the food bank, just simple…like I said “COACH NOT FIRST CLASS!”

1. Saying SubhanAllah wabihamdi for every toy I pick up. =) We have lots of toys. Oh yea.

2. Teaching Qur’an to my daughter. The best among us are those who learn and teach it.

3. Doing Ramadan crafts at home with kids. As a young child I never really looked forward to Ramadan but I hope to make it different for my kiddies.

4.Laundry dhikr. We have alot of laundry, not to mention socks to pair!

5. 24/7 Dua

6. MOST of all: reminding myself that this kind of worship is one of the most hidden kinds and so it cannot be tainted as long as we make our intention correctly. Our work goes unrecognized except by Allah and Allah is the best witness. Ok maybe our husbands see it, but not always. =)

InshaAllah by the end of this Ramadan my transition will have advanced. Please make dua.

Short and sweet, Salam!

Fake FOod Free!

  Peace to all. Apologies for randomness. It’s late but I had to post this!

If you know me or don’t know me, you know me as Yusef’s wife or as the sister who has an itchy face, is sensitive to the sun, and always on some kind of diet. Since I married and moved to North Carolina, my body was bombarded with a new environment; Pollen, diet changes (I married a butcher, nuff said), had babies, lived on a farm, was stripped from my everyday support network (mom dad and sisters) etc. I developed homesickness, allergies and eczema.  Ultimately I know this small pain is a test from the Al-Mighty, but at the same time God allows things to happen to you so you can change things about yourself and inevitably the people around you and the world on some level. It’s pretty amazing.  For my eczema, several doctors who followed protocol at its best prescribed for me topical steroids. I’ve decided to quit using these steroids cold turkey and my body is now experiencing Topical Steroid Withdrawl (TSW). As a result, my face goes through cycles of red bumbs, blotches, itch sessions, flakeyness, and some days I look, well, normal. But the cycle continues.  So if you see me and I look red, now you know why. For anyone using topical steroids, please be careful. Most of the time, when your body acts up on the outside, it’s because of what you’re putting inside and the government isn’t on your side…Ya understand? Steroids only HIDE the symptom and do nothing for the cure and so you continue to hide your sickness while it brews inside of you.

Movies entertain, so does music, but very few find lectures to inspire and elevate. Unfortunately it is in these lectures and articles that contain vital information about our life here on Earth and for anyone who can sit or read through them, may God make you successful. Here are a couple of these lectures that caused my eyes to open. Believe if you will. When you finally get sick, then you start to believe much easier, and Allah cures when He wants to.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6WpMM1FR8g

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLjgBLwH3Wc

just wanted to say aiight? Payyyce yALL. southside represent!

I Can Do Whatever I Want Big or Small List 2

1. Organize a Food Fest

2.Raise money for a  better playground for the kids

3.Sleep earlier

4.Have my own plane

5.Have Vegan Night

6.Blog more

7. Uh oh baby is crying…to be continued.

I Can Do Whatever I Want Big or Small

1. Take a creative writing class
2. Learn a surah
3.Write a children’s story
4. Create Halaqas for children
5.Sew a dress
6.Eat Healthy
7.Write more
8. Stay Home More
9.Create a Home wherein I never feel the need to leave
10. Invite more people to my home

easy and small but with Allah stands tall..

One of the things I do on Jum’ah (Friday) is drop some money in the sadaqa (charity) box in the mosque. Impressed? I didn’t think so. Most everyone drops something in the box. Next time, give your donation money to a child and ask him/her to drop it in the donation box for you. Most of them enjoy doing favors associated with money. They feel important and they are. Most of all, they feel good about themselves.

InshaAllah (Godwilling) the child might learn the goodness of this deed and adopt the practice themselves as they age.  In addition, not only do you reap blessings from your Lord, but the child does as well, after all, they had to walk allllll the way to the donation box for you and with every step came the favor of your Lord.

Keep your intentions pure. InshaAllah Khair! Wa salamu’alaykum warahmatullah! (peace be with you)

repost from my college years.

Let’s go to the Lord

Haniya and mother walking down the toy aisle at the store.

Haniya: Mama! Mama! Dat one!

Mother: Hold your horses Haniya!

Haniya: I don’t wanna hold my horses. I wanna hold my ponies!

If one child consumes my mind so much, how much more if Allah gives me another, or perhaps two others?  I’m sure He will expand my mind if He was to give me so. 

Tonight I will go to Qiyam in hopes that one of God’s angels decends upon me and hears my whispers. To be among His angels …Wow. Qiyam is a purifying and intense experience. Just 4 nights ago I heard a man cry and plead with God in the musallah. My whispers quickly shifted in favor of this man and I asked God to grant him his prayer. While washing my face and hands I saw from the corner of my eye a woman whose ablution made mine look like hill and hers a mountain. She left the sink saying..I want it to be perfect. I knew what she was praying for and I told her I was praying for her son, but that I was sure a mother’s prayer was enough. She corrected me and reminded me that we never know whose supplication Allah accepts and she thanked me.

On the first of the ten days a woman in sajdah beside me let her tears reveal themselves.  I’ve seen her everyday since then praying at the masjid. On the other side of me a Somalian sister prolongs her sajdah way past the congregation’s. I didn’t blame her for breaking the unity. So many supplications, so many things to ask for…to  be thankful for.

Children sleeping in the back peacefully under the echo of the glorious Qur’an make me feel cozy and at home.

There’s something about being in sajdah that sheilds you; heart, soul, and body. All praises to Allah. I hope we bring forth what good habits we’ve attained in Ramadan to the rest of the year and beyond.

Housewifes Trophywives Homemakers Bakers and Shakers

 

Whatever you want to call us…some of us work too, some don’t, some at school, some are not, nevertheless:

If we remove the sheets, pillow cases, comforters, and wash them, then put them back on the bed like they were before…

If the baby pees on the floor and we scrub the stains away so the carpet looks like it did before…

If we wash YOUR underwear and fold them and stow them away neatly in the drawer like they were before…

If we keep the sink empty and clean like it always is…

And you come home to see the house looking  like it always does….

Everything seems to look the same. Then what did we do all day?

Nothing….unless we tell you what we did all day…and no husband wants to hear that I removed pee from the carpet…

Sincerely,

Happy house wife

PS. praise Allah!

quickpress

Peace be w/ you.  A low fat- low calorie t blog for a change…

I want some chocolate mama, right now..mama, right now.

My two year old daughter adds the phrase right now to her minor, but critical requests. It’s really my fault for abusing the phrase. Once I became a parent I knew I had to stop doing certain things like binge eating on pringles and cheetos, and other similar unholy acts.

My husband and I have a normal relationship. I annoy him with my emotional bouts and he leaves his laundry on the floor for payback. We listen to This American Life and watch House together…we eat dinner together sometimes and for fun I like to pinch him to see if it hurts.

I spend most of my time in the community trying to influence the youth who are regretfully in love with Justin Bieber while looking after the child and tutoring part-time. Most of the people I know work in hospitals or are getting their masters.  A few are butchers or sit in front of a computer doing important things. I am enriched by all of them especially the butchers.

We live at home with our soon to be double degree college graduate sister and her cat who for some reason, I think will have alot of things to say to God about me when that time comes.

Today I filled out the 2010 census and realized I could just lie about the number of people living in my house because today was very inspirational.  I had a pleasant day with no physical challenges except for washing my daughter’s butt in the sink.  Alas!! Potty training can wait no more.

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